


my heart is my armor

by patchworklove (orphan_account)



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Emo, Everyone Is Gay, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Online Relationship, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-23 13:02:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20008726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/patchworklove
Summary: three love stories of pairs that met online and broke the distance





	1. ryden

**Author's Note:**

> this was cross posted from wattpad under the same username (except the L in love is an i.)
> 
> i hope you enjoy! title is from tear in my heart by twenty one pilots
> 
> also i don't write in first person anymore oop

i met brendon urie on twitter on a stupid group chat for american horror story.

i got added on accident by spencer, one of brendon's mutuals, because apparently he clicked the wrong person with the username of hotel on it and was supposed to add a kid named dallon. in the end, i stayed in the group chat and dallon wasn't added for another fucking month for some reason.

in the end spencer was able to add dallon and i ended up staying in the group chat because of how brendon always had wild stories to tell.

brendon was having a really bad day, and the both of us just so happened to be awake when everyone else was asleep.

_**freakshowurie:** _ _today was really shit ugh_

**hoteIryro is typing...**

_**hoteIryro**_ _ **:** wanna_ _talk about it?_

**_freakshowurie_** _:_ _i'll dm you privately that way i don't spam the chat_

brendon typed out a long paragraph about how his parents were going to hurt him if they ever found out that he's one of those gay freaks or tr*nnies (to which he said that he was bisexual). he confessed that he self-harms because of how his family treats him and his school isn't very accepting either, even though las vegas is a generally liberal city. i told him that everything was going to be okay and that he could move out once he's eighteen. it turns out that he was turning eighteen in a little over a year, whilst i have to wait until the end of next summer. at least we don't have a ridiculously large age gap.

we started becoming closer friends after he told me what's been happening, and four months later in the month of may, he asked me out and told me he liked me. once i said yes, he told the group chat (which was surprisingly not dead, but we didn't talk about american horror story anymore since the season had ended) we mostly just turned it into a chat about lesbian gorillas and arsonists. (all of my friends are weird, let's be real)

_**freakshowurie** : GUESS WHAT WHORES RYAN'S MY NEW BOYFRIEND_

_**commandmentspencer** : oh congrats to the both of you_

_**hotelweekes** : jon you owe me thirteen dollars_

_**donovanwalker** : what the fuck i don't have any cash right now_

_**donovanwalker** : why can't i live on the other side of the country instead of two houses away from you_

_**donovanwalker** : fuck you dallon_

i laughed at that last one before texting all of them back and telling them that i'm going to bed because it was already midnight and i actually wanted to get some sleep.

that was a little over a year ago, and now that brendon's a legal adult and he's somehow earned enough money to get an apartment for the both of us in california (seriously all he ever does at work is text me or the group chat). although i'm not a legal adult, i've already graduated high school woo hoo.

brendon's always been my rock and i feel extremely lucky to be able to meet him in person. i'm afraid that i'll be jittery and nervous, but i trust that we'll be able to get over the initial awkward phase.

-

"i can't believe you're meeting your boyfriend for the first time oof. i really wanna meet gerard but he's on the other side of the fucking continent and he doesn't even have legal documents with his true name yet because of his parents." frank bitches off to me while we're sitting at a fast food restaurant because that's where brendon decided to meet us. god i love him and his crazy ideas.

i hear a loud honk outside the restaurant, and i run out because that feels like a predictable brendon thing, and sure enough it is brendon. i run so fast that i end up slamming my body into his. i wrap my arms around him and suddenly i start crying, because the man i love is right in front of me - alive and breathing, and not just pixels on my screen. i kissed him a few times before we head back inside.

after we all hang around at the restaurant and have a lengthy discussion on whether or not aliens look like humans, frank goes home and i hop in the car with brendon. he insists that we need to go shopping for stuff in our apartment before we can actually go to our apartment and settle in. i don't understand brendon's logic and frankly i don't think i ever will.

"we have entered into a dark, treacherous place. abandon all hope, ye who enter here! as we trudge through the dangers, we shall not lose heart, for the light is just beyond the horizon!" i'm wheeling a shopping cart into the store just to find brendon shouting and holding a foam sword. i roll my eyes and laugh before i take the foam sword away. "babe, chill. we're in a fucking target." he pouts for a quick moment and then insists on sitting in the cart.

yep, this is the same man i met online to become my boyfriend.

after we get all of the things we "need" (seriously brendon we don't need a fucking inflatable duck but i love you and i'm the biggest pushover ever, so fine we'll keep it), i let him sleep in the backseat because he's been driving for four hours just to see me. i'll admit that i got lost four times before i finally found the complex and this looks like a sketchy ass apartment but it's affordable and plus i won't have to be apart from brendon for long.

-

five years after brendon and i first meet in person, we're finally engaged. i love him so fucking much and i'm so happy that he's not the same sad and scared person i met years ago. he's much more confident than he was back then, and he's been clean for almost six years.

we moved out of our sketchy apartment and into a bigger apartment a few miles away. i don't really care where we are as long as i'm with him.

no matter how cliche and disgusting we are, i'll always love him and i'm glad that we're able to withstand any obstacle in our way.

in a way, i have spencer to thank for all of this. so thank you spencer for introducing me to the love of my life

-ryan


	2. frerard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gee and frank have different birthdays just so that the timeline makes more sense. gerard's birthday is in july and frank's is in november.

_"_ _sophia_ _!_ _did_ _you_ _color_ _your_ _hair_ _again_ _?!"_

sounds like a normal day in hell for me. wait a minute, i forgot to introduce myself. my name is gerard, or gee (but only special people like my boyfriend and my brother call me that). i'm sixteen and believe it or not, transgender (cue the army of fuckboy jocks ready to beat me up)

i act like this isn't a huge deal for me, it really is. i came out to my mom and my brother three years ago and ever since then i was no longer "allowed to act like a boy." jokes on you bitch. literally anywhere else people would see me as a boy and all of my school documents (except my transcript because that's legal) say that i'm a guy. i use the guys bathroom even though i get beat up a lot in there.

i got tired of having no one except my little brother as a friend. even at the school's gsa (which consists of two other people might i add) there are problematic people. melanie, a senior who did some crazy and illegal shit to a freshman (i've heard so many stories that i can't tell which ones are true), and is a fucking terf. she called me sophia twice this week alone. and then there's james, a stereotypical white gay guy who's racist as shit.

so i decided to sign up for voltbook. i had no idea what the fuck i was doing, so i yelled for mikey to go upstairs and help me.

"go on grumblr and find a layout."

"a what?"

"gerard, you need a good looking profile."

"make it for me, i couldn't care less."

"i'll put a picture of your soggy ass face for an icon and a wink-293 header and then follow a bunch of people."

-

i'll have to admit that once mikey downloaded the voltbook app it started to take over my life. even though the site was used mostly for writing, a lot of people made art books as well. i published an art book filled with original characters for my alternate dystopian universe.

**_hypnotic_ ** **___ ** **_spells_ ** **_:_ ** _the_ _art'_ _s_ _fuhking_ _rad_ _,_ _dude_ _!_

_hypnotic_ ___ _spells_ _followed_ _you_

i followed this person back and then sent a private message to them.

**_geethepsychic_ ** **_:_ ** _thanks_ _for_ _the_ _follow_ _!_ _my_ _name's_ _gerard_

**_hypnotic_ ** **___ ** **_spells_ ** **_:_ ** _i'm frank._ _no_ _problem_ _,_ _and_ _how's_ _your_ _day_ _been?_

i feel excited to finally have a friend that isn't my fourteen year old brother.

-

a little over a month has passed and it turns out that frank just turned sixteen and that he has a best friend named ryan. i made friends with some other people online other than frank, although frank was the only one i continuously talked to. voltbook is known for its shitty private messaging system, and i didn't trust to put my email out there for people to see, so i got a tweeter and met a guy named bert and another guy named ryan who is coincidentally the same ryan that frank's best friends with.

bert's great. i really like him and i think that he might like me too. i should probably ask mikey about this, because somehow he knows more about boys than i do.

mikey grumbles at me and tells me that i need to man up so i send bert a "hey i really like you will you please be my boyfriend" message. surprisingly he says yes, and i'm glad i was able to do that.

-

things don't stay like that for long. bert turns out to be an ass. he's always offline and when he is online it's between midnight and three am. i tried keeping up with how his schedule was like for a week, but it got too tiring and i was more grumpy and upset than usual. when things stopped going the way bert wanted it to, he started saying that i don't care about him. i put up with his bullshit up until around christmas time. frank had been busy and we couldn't really talk to each other that often anymore. the minute he made me choose between him and frank, i ended it with him and decided to skype frank telling him what happened.

frank tells me that he's sorry that he wasn't there for me throughout all of that, but i tell him that it's not his fault that bert was an asshole. 

frank tries his best to make me feel happy every time that we talk and we've become really close now. 

-

i really want to meet frank. i wanna tell him how much i love him and how grateful i am for being there for me while trying to get over bert. as much as i want to tell him all of that over text and profess my love for him, i'm too much of a coward and plus i don't want a repeat of bert.

even my little brother has a boyfriend. my little brother has a freaking boyfriend. i guess i shouldn't be so jealous of him because he's doing a good thing for the world and spreading the homosexuality. but still, i want to date frank. 

why can't everything go the way i want it to for once. why does los angeles have to be on the other side of the continent and in another fucking country. why can't i have all of my legal papers say "gerard arthur way" instead of "sophia alexandria way?"

i need to stop being so bitter at everything.

-

it's my eighteenth birthday. i should be happy, but i'm not. i want to spend it with frank and i wish i wasn't bored out of my mind sitting in my room. and then, all of a sudden i have an epiphany 

i run downstairs to grab the shit load of cash in my mom's wallet and then run and try to find my passport. fuck whatever it says legally, i can change it once i get to the us. i'm tired of sitting around waiting for the right time to meet frank - i'm gonna get over there to los angeles as soon as possible, which probably means driving for a week but i don't care. anything to see frank.

_"name?"_

_"ge-uh, sophia way."_

i was worried security would say something considering that i don't look anything like the person in the picture of my passport. the passport was from four years ago back when i still had my original hair color and it was down to my chest. 

_"birthday?"_

_"july 9, 1999"_

_"how long will you be in the country?"_

_"a few months. i need to deal with some family business."_

_"sir, i'm going to have to ask you to pull over and wait for further instructions."_

shit. i knew something was wrong. i'm a horrible liar. dammit, gee, why couldn't you have waited to change your ID?! this is gonna be a lovely birthday after all. oh well, at least the guy called me a sir.

i should probably call mikey and tell him what happened. 

-

mikey arrives and explains everything to the police. they believe that mikey's telling the truth and check my things for drugs and alcohol and weapons before they let the both of us loose. 

"thanks mikey. i had to call you otherwise mom would've thrown a hissy fit."

"you're my brother. i'll do anything for you. mom did get upset when i told her that i wasn't going to be at home until late though. she said and i quote, 'why do you insist on calling your sister gerard? it's so improper, her real name is sophia,' which pissed me off so i told her not to bother with you because from the looks of it, i don't think you're going home anytime soon."

i laughed. "i don't care if my mom won't support me on my decisions. i've officially turned eighteen and i graduated a month ago. i'm gonna go see frank."

-

"and that's the story of how i got to know frank and how i got stuck at airport security, and why it's already the thirteenth." i'm explaining to a waiter named spencer in san francisco. i'm eating breakfast at a diner with him before i head out and drive for another few hours to get to los angeles. i've already messaged ryan telling him that this is a surprise thing for frank. 

"i'm sure this frank guy loves you as much as you love him. when you meet him, you should tell him how you really feel, that way he knows it's real and genuine." spencer tells me. he sounds like a spiritual guru because he gives great advice. i smile at him before standing up and stretching.

"go get your man, i'll go clean up for you."

i salute him before running out to my car and start the engine. 

-

this is it. my big moment. i'm gonna go and meet frank. after forty hours of driving, several shitty motels, and a long shower, i'm finally going to meet him. 

i can see him from here. he's talking to ryan and his boyfriend in the middle of the food court right in front of polar bear delivery sitting at a booth.

my heart's beating loudly as i'm walking right up to where his table is, and i wink at ryan and brendon before tapping his shoulder. 

"hey."

"gerard?!" frank, being the secret little softie he is, starts crying and wraps his arms around mine. 

"oh my god, i can't believe you're here!"

"i love you so much."

"you too."

-

ten years later, i'm sitting with my lovely husband frank and my two daughters. i underwent hormone replacement therapy and top surgery four years ago, and i legally changed my name a year after i met frank. it's strange how life works, but i'm extremely happy that i met frank.


	3. petekey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fourteen year old me made too many parody band/emo related things in this chapter oops - take a shot of water every time you find one and figure it out (this story isn't that old i'm only sixteen)

i first met mikey way online four years ago in seventh grade. although i had several friends at my middle school, i didn't have a best friend that knew who i really was. my school was more concerned about popularity than letting people express themselves. the minute someone said they didn't like rap or that someone in the popular group is a bitch, they're immediately blacklisted as public enemy number one.

so i decided to try to have some online friends. ones that really knew what my music taste is like and who i really am inside. and that's when i met mikey way. 

it all started with a stupid rise in girl and your toxic love story grumblr post of why penelope from rise in girl and michaela from your toxic love story was real back in 1997. i made a comment about how rise in girl's newest album limited in low is all about penchaela, and the owner of the post responded with "omg true!"

i decided to dm the person who made that grumblr post because i had been following their blog for a while and they've posted great penchaela content, and i found out that his name is mikey and that he's thirteen. we got along pretty well after that, and he'd often message me even if it wasn't about rise in girl. he once talked about his personal problems with his mother and how he felt that she didn't respect his brother enough.

i told him that it was all going to be okay, and that one day his mother will realize that his brother isn't a vile human. he thanked me, and then i asked him if he had a skype or any other platform to video chat, because i really wanted to see his face. he reluctantly gave me his skype, and then i told him that i'd say something random just so that he can trust me.

_**peteyboi** : what if we're the aliens of the universe and there's another species out there that looks and acts like us but they don't live here and they think that there are aliens out there but really we're all the same species but with different biology based on planets?_

_**milkcarton420** : peter is that you_

_**peteyboi** : yes_

_**peteyboi** : why is your username milk carton?_

_**milkcarton420** : it's a long story involving my brother and his best friend and a skype call. personally i think the both of them are the homosexual™ together but they keep denying it_

_**peteyboi** : sounds fun_

_**peteyboi** : can i call you now?_

_**milkcarton420** : yeah. my face is still red and puffy though_

_**peteyboi** : doesn't matter_

when he picked up the call and showed me his face i couldn't help but feel sad because his face is fucking beautiful and i don't want anything making him or upset.

we talked throughout the night about everything. i learned that he dyed his hair black a few weeks ago because he lost a bet against gerard, but it turned out to be the best decision he's made. he took a test in fifth grade and managed to guess all the right things to get into honors language arts even though he's literally failing the class. he once broke his leg when he fell down the stairs two years ago when gerard had pushed him for stealing his favorite blue evening t-shirt. gerard is the only person that he truly cares about in real life even though he's friends with the most popular boy at his school, dallon weekes. then again, dallon is apparently a secret fanboy and that's how mikey got to be friends with him in the first place.

i learned a lot about mikey that day, and we started video calling a lot more after that.

when mikey asked me out last year, it was a hell of a day. i learned that i was failing science because of all of my therapy appointments for bipolar depression, i got hit in the head in the middle of pe, and meagan decided to be a bitch and dump cup noodles on my head just because i told her i wouldn't sleep with her.

i complained to him about how shit my day was, and then out of the blue, he asks me out.

_**peteyboi** : yeah no she's basically the school slut and she's hell bent on sleeping with everyone in the sophomore class. there's only twenty guys left that haven't been approached by her yet._

_**milkcarton420** : do you wanna be my boyfriend?_

_**peteyboi** : i am: confusion_

_**milkcarton420** : i'm actually being serious lmao i've had feelings for you ever since we had that one video chat two years ago in eighth grade where you dared me to add jalapeños to my soup._

_**milkcarton420** : i mean I totally get it if not but at least you know  
_

_**peteyboi** : hell yes mikeyway. you're the person that always makes my days happier._

-

that was a little over a year ago, and now gerard's living his happy life with frank in los angeles while mikey's alone in toronto, canada, having to deal with his mother's wrath since gerard left.

i don't live all the way out in los angeles, but i do live across the border. new york, to be specific. it's still a little far. almost a nine hour drive. unfortunately i don't know how to drive because when i took the driver's test, i ran over a mail box and a stop sign. 

my parents are hardly around, and when they are around they pay attention to my other siblings, hillary and andrew. i've grown out of being popular, and all of my friends are from the internet. so i can't drive myself. 

i have to figure out something because mikey means the world to me, and i want to meet him. 

-

it turns out that by some lucky miracle, gerard has a study program in toronto for a few months, and he decided to call me and tell me that he's taking a stop over in new york to go take me to mikey. gerard tells me that he's going to pick me up in three days.

_"we know that mikey's been miserable since i left, and i wanted to surprise my little brother and do something good for him for once."_

_"are you actually serious about this?! oh my god, thanks gerard!" i start shaking and now i'm crying happy tears. holy shit i get to meet mikey in real life._

i desperately wanted to skype mikey and tell him the good news, but i had to keep it a secret. i want to see the look on mikey's face when he sees that i'm a real human being and that i'm not almost 500 miles away. 

-

when gerard arrives to pick me up, i'm not sure if my heart is racing because of adrenaline or if it's because of a panic attack. i'm scared that mikey will hate me in real life and realize that i'm not the one he wants to be with. mikey's the best thing in my life right now and i can't mess that up.

gerard tells me that the trip is going to take a while and that i should get some rest.

_calm down, pete. this is just normal anxiety of meeting someone for the first time._

i put on some headphones and listen to music before falling asleep to calm down while frank's driving. hey, at least i get to meet mikeyway in the first place.

-

gerard wakes me up by yanking the headphones off of my ears. i rub my eyes and look around to find that we're right in front of a hotel at two-fifteen in the morning. i asked why he couldn't have just taken us back to his old house, but he says that his mother isn't on good terms with him and that it's not a very good time for her (or anyone else in the neighborhood for that matter) to be disrupted.

the next morning, gerard calls mikey to tell him that he's in town, and that they should meet. mikey suggests the mall, and gerard looks at me to ask for approval. i nod. to be honest, i don't really care where we meet or where we are. being with mikey is good enough for me.

we all decide to meet at three, since mikey's school gets out at 2 and it takes around forty-fifty minutes to get from the school to the mall on bus. mikey texts gerard to tell him that he's already on the bus and i feel my stomach getting warmer. mikey is the light of my life, and i'm happy with him.

-

gerard tells me that his favorite spot in the mall is the lounge area closest to the "emo" store, cool subjects. it's also directly in front of a pretzel stand, and there are doors close to the lounge area. 

the minute i see mikey go through those doors, i decided "fuck it, i'm gonna go run to him."

_"mikey!"_

_"pete?!" mikey almost trips back, but he regains his balance and soon we're running towards each other. we end up colliding our faces into one another, but that's fine._

_"oh my god, you're here!" mikey's full on crying, and i know that if i point it out he's going to deny it but we all know that he's just a big softie._

_"surprise. gerard drove me here." i laugh._

_"i love you so much."_

_"i love you more."_

_-_

"and after we met, you dragged me all the way to cool subjects and the song that happened to be playing was wintertime by your toxic love story, which was our song ever since it had both come up on our playlists at the same time in one of our early skype calls." i asked him. 

mikey blinks at me. i sighed. it's hard caring for someone with dementia. our lives are parallel to the fucking notebook. we've been together for over sixty years now. i still love him very much.

even if mikey never remembers who i am, i'll still love him.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!
> 
> tumblr: fearoftryinq  
> twitter: twotonques


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